Hai.

I hate to say this, but Singapore soccer has been a total letdown. The Young Lions went down in the history of the 23^rd SEA Games on Monday, losing out to Indonesia in our final group rankings. Ugh, a 1-0 win over Myanmar wasn’t enough to save the team from being ousted. Who cares about Fifa world rankings or Tiger Cups anyway? Not unless we can hoist the SEA Games soccer trophy high above our heads and prove to our detractors that we’re not mere pushovers, will they then say we're good. All i can say is we played better than a couple of ah peks on crutches -- but hey, seriously, you could have just gone off for a toilet break and yet not miss anything. Wonder if Mr. Avramovic or some V.I.P. is going to come round and say, aiyah, luck wasn’t really on our side/those referees were crap/the ground was crap, etc. Come on lah, let’s admit the whole team was pure crap.

Imagine if we’d replaced the lovely old soccer ball with the very lovely Jessica Alba instead, the results would have been awfully different: every player would be dashing after her on the pitch and trying to score with her.

Shoot.

I digress. I was just thinking about the latest Tiger Beer advert fronted by Ms. Alba. Maybe Asia Pacific Breweries can lure Dawn Yeo/Yang – better known by her alias clapbangkiss – in for their next commercial. Hey, girl’s got the sweet Pan-Asian look (surgically-enhanced or otherwise) going, she’s going to make the men out there swoon. Simply pose with a jug of Tiger, and tah dah, she’ll be helping shift gallons of beer in no time. And as an added bonus, her endorsement fees would be considerably lesser than Alba’s.. what better than having a local girl front a local brand?

Ugh. I forgot Tiger’s going international.

Speaking of which, remember 49 year old pianist Melvyn Tan who made news a fortnight ago? The accomplished pianist will be playing at the Esplanade, and is slated to sit on the jury of the National Arts Council's National Piano & Violin Competition in a matter of days. Tan has a glamorous resume, plus a he lives at a glamorous address to boot (Notting Hill, London). Ah, but he can jolly well add renowned draft-dodger to his resume. Having evaded his National Service call-up almost 3 decades ago, he decided to return to Singapore earlier this year to be with his aged parents. He was reportedly fined a sum not exceeding $5,000 for evading the draft, and now, so many Singaporeans (especially the men) are out there crying foul.

Imagine those disgruntled NS men screaming: “WTF? Lidat might as well I pay $5,000 and don’t serve 2 ½ years NS loh! No need to suffer like sai! Just be a good pianist or ____________ (insert your fashionable career here) can liao! Got some great achievement to show the world damn good loh?!”

Truth be told, I’m really indifferent towards the issue. I guess i don’t have a taste for classical music.

I’m less sympathetic towards convicted Aussie drug trafficker Nguyen Tuong Van. As far as I am concerned, this man is kena sai – dead as a dodo – already.

He’ll be executed on Friday, 2^nd December. Australia has unsuccessfully pleaded for his clemency, whereas Singapore is standing its ground. Some Aussies have insisted on boycotting Singapore companies/goods while some others believe their country is practicing double standards. Etc. You get the flow.

Even though Van carried the drugs to help his twin brother pay off his loans, he already knew the consequences of being a drug courier. This man was arrested in Singapore. He'll just have to abide by our state's rules and accept the punishment meted.

I'm for capital punishment as i do believe it'll serve as a deterrent for many potential evil-doers.

And that said, a petition is not going to help save Nguyen’s ass. Seriously.

Maybe the authorities will be lenient and allow his mother to hug him one last time – before some Darshan Singh sends him on his way.