I was making my way home late last Sunday when a man coming from the opposite direction stopped me in my tracks and asked me for the time. I had no watch on, so i fished in my sling bag for my handphone. I was about to whip it out when this stranger began to murmur in a distant, somewhat dreamy voice, "Today is Sunday, tomorrow is Monday hor."

"10.30," I replied gruffly and walked off hastily before he could respond. I wondered why didn't he stop to ask that couple who was only a mere metre ahead of me.

Fast forward to Tuesday. It was pouring the whole morning and I was stuck at home.

My sis came home in the afternoon. She wasn't her usual self. She started yelping the minute she barged through the door.

Some guy had tried to approach her while she was making her way home, armed with an umbrella and an excuse to shelter her from the rain. He didn't even make an offer really -- all he did was to run up and hold his shield (his umbrella, sorry) high above her head like some dumbass knight in shining armour. My sis did turn down his help ever so politely, but she reeled back in horror when she realised the umbrella was a premise to chat her up.

"Can I be your friend?"

"No," my sis retorted.

"Why?"

"____________!!!"

(insert a politically correct reply here. Or some other nonsensical reply you can come up with, such as:

1. Aiyah, go call those 1900 hotlines ah, many girls for you to jio!

2. Go buy a mirror, better it be a 照妖镜 (zhao yao jing; a magical mirror which reveals the true form of a demon). If you can see your own reflection, come and be my friend!)

The cracker finally relented and walked her all the way to our lift lobby. He waved goodbye while my sister jabbed repeatedly at the elevator button, hoping the lift would quickly haul her back home.

After relating her story, mum suggested we girls deliver a swift blow to any man's nether regions as a form of self protection. The youngest sis recommended a pair of sharp scissors as a vital weapon -- like a protection whistle of sorts, only better.

What honestly petrifies me is that this weirdo in both cases fits this rough description: Tall (around 1.7-1.8m in height), young (approximately 20-25 years of age), of large body build and bespectacled. I'm not trying to set off police alarms here, but if a perverted dude like this actually loiters around our bukit merah/tiong bahru area, please help spread the word. Tell your sisters/girlfriends/female friends to be on the lookout. You know, a little civic mindedness actually goes a long way.