An online search for a book leads me to a seller on Yahoo! Auctions. At $2, it looks like a genuine basement bargain. I thought i might have to fork out $10 for a 2^nd hand copy. This is fantastic. I don't have to cough up a hefty sum for shipping fees and all else that comes with purchasing a book from abroad either. I suppose this must be my lucky day.

An email comes in slightly later, triumphantly announcing that i am the (sole) winner of this auction and that i am to transfer my money to the auctioneer, whereupon the book will be emailed to me.

Email?

And then i realise, to my horror, that i am the ignoramus who paid $2 for a crappy electronic book!

Postscript · I checked the page again and saw some itty-bitty fine print -- "title of the book.eBook". On hindsight, i should have scanned everything fastidiously, but i'd still say this is an outrageous marketing ploy. The disclaimer reminded me to Ask whatever question in Q & A before bid, which i did. I asked: So how's the condition of the book?

No wonder the seller never did bother to reply.

Sometimes a teeny-weeny dose of impudence is all it takes to make you sit up and listen.

Previously · Wanna read this?

I eschew radio nowadays for the most blatant reason: local radio stations often play unintelligible urban music (read: rap) and mindless bubblegum fare to the hilt, it makes me cringe real bad. Sometimes it's like hearing Nickelback (sorry, Nickelback fans) play twice in a row, and you think: Hey, the songs sound the same. A moment later the reality dawns on you: It's the same shit, anyhow.

Originality has gone out of the window.

But i digress. Turn to the internet, you radio-eschewers. There's a plethora of music out there waiting to be unearthed. That's how I discovered NY's art-rock trio The YYYs (MySpace), and like they say, the rest is history. Their soon-to-be-released sophomore effort, Show Your Bones, remains my most-anticipated release of the season, and for the most obvious reason so: they keep reinventing themselves to stay at the top of their game. Don't believe the naysayers who say they loathe this new album 'cos it has none of the pyrotechnics nor panache of the first (Fever To Tell). Damnit, i don't think the posse has lost any of their edge or musical flair, whichever it is. They've taken their music to a different dimension.

Bonus mp3 · Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Deja Vu (removed)
Buy · Show Your Bones
Buy · Fever To Tell
Read · The Straits Times Life! cd review, clickety-click
Previously · Read my other YYY posts. Pt 1 2 3

Labels: For Your Aural Pleasure

Sleep is such a rare commodity these days, even the lions try to catch forty winks whenever they can.

I didn't know they had a guide for all sorts of offensive gestures, but i'll give that particular someone the finger all the same. You bastard.

It's hard to say whether Jewel Kilcher "sold out" with 0304, that Lester Mendez (Shakira, Enrique Iglesias) produced, dance-pop infused effort. In any case, the lady with the natural, crystalline pipes will return to her folksy-pop roots come 2nd May with Goodbye Alice in Wonderland. It'll be an autobiographical album, or the story of her life, as she so aptly puts it. The title track is a impassioned take on dreams and expectations.

It is the story of my life - from the extreme solitude of Alaska to my first trip to Hollywood... from my rise to fame to the cliché crisis of betrayals by those closest and most dearly trusted.

Mp3 · Jewel - Goodbye Alice in Wonderland (removed)
Stream the video · Jewel - Goodbye Alice in Wonderland
Buy · Goodbye Alice in Wonderland

Labels: For Your Aural Pleasure

Can you imagine a sweet, innocent thing like Natalie Portman living a gangsta lifestyle? Watch this SNL digital short to see what i mean. Hilarious.

Stream the video
Natalie Portman - Gangsta Rap

The 78th Academy Awards are, well, officially behind us. The curtains have been drawn and the red carpets have been rolled up. The twee golden men have their pride of place now in many a new display cabinets. There were some upsets and surprises throughout the course of the show (but of course), most notably in the Best Picture category, when Crash triumphed over crowd-favourite Brokeback Mountain to take home the coveted prize.

Perhaps the AMPAS folks don't like overtly gay themes.

The whole coverage was safe but bland, and most of my predictions materialised. There were but few heartfelt speeches. Incidentally, i had no luck with Brokeback Mountain, Transamerica, or A History of Violence either. The local board of film censors passed those 3 Oscar-nominated films with R21 ratings so i'd no chance to catch 'em.

So much for breaking my piggy bank.

Some of my priceless Oscar moments

• This year's Oscar nominees get goodie bags filled with -- get this: diamond-encrusted bra & panty sets, 22-carat gold leaf and crystal hammers and $25,000 luxury packages from Halekulani Hotel on Waikiki Beach in Honolulu. The least expensive item, by the way, is a $600 Krups XP4050 Premium Pump espress machine. Now, that's what i call priceless.
• Jon Steward, i.e. "I do have some sad news to report. Bjork couldn't be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her" or "Martin Scorsese: No Oscars, Three 6 Mafia: One Oscar"
• Oh, Three 6 Mafia of course, for winning the Best Song. Someone give the men a Golden Globe already.
  
• Tom Hanks getting smashed by a violin after demonstrating how not to drag an acceptance speech on for too long.
• Ben Stiller and his green "invisible screen" suit.
• I thought Jessica Alba was an atomy.
• Did J.Lo morph into one of those plush, red Kodak Theatre seats they were sitting on?
  
• Watching Lee Ang win the Best Director Oscar. Hurray, asians!
  
• Watching the cast and crew of Crash jump up into the air after their win was announced.
  
• Playing a spot-the-difference game, i.e. spot the differences in oceans of false breasts and botoxed faces. Boy, that was hard.

Sometimes i write nonsensical, spur-of-the-moment posts. This must be one of them.

More · 2006 Academy Award Winners

This makes me sound like an utterly desperate, sexually-deprived midget. Quick, someone attach an amplifier to my cervix!

I have The Fiery Furnaces' Bitter Tea and The Yeah Yeah Yeahs' Show Your Bones playing on my stereo right now. They are leaked versions, not retail ones, so they sound somewhat unpolished, but still throughly fascinating and unpretentious. Do check these mp3 blogs out for a sweet selection of tunes.

The Fiery Furnaces

• Off The Record: The Fiery Furnaces, Bitter Tea
  
• Fluxblog: I'm An Ice Skater's Bruised Knees
  

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

• Pardon My Freedom: Just Like Honey
  
• The View From Yoorp: New Yeah Yeah Yeahs album leaked
  
• Skatterbrain: New Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Cheated Hearts
  
• Newyorker.com review by Sasha Frere-Jones
  

Previously · Read my other YYY posts. Pt 1 2

Labels: For Your Aural Pleasure

I live in what I call high-quality communal housing, as do 85% of this island's population, while the rest are roughly scattered in private apartments and landed properties. I like to think ours is the most successful public housing project in the world, which I must say, is true to a large extent, considering we are one densely-populated nation.

There are downsides to high-quality and high-density living, but of course. One common pet peeve among residents is incessant noise pollution, which was recently highlighted in the papers. I don't know what's worse: noisy neighbours, nosy neighbours, or neighbours without noses. I'm rather happy where I am now, for my neighbours are mostly very sociable beings. The joneses next door, for instance, are a friendly and outgoing family who like to borrow random items like onions and eggs. They sometimes turn the stereo to full blast, engage in riotous Mahjong parties, and they have a helluva noisy kid, but I can live with that. I have a high threshold for noise. Besides, they satiate me with chocolate eclairs. Often.

But the neighbour who refuses to wring the laundry before hanging it out to dry is one neighbour I can live without.

My mum went ballistic last week when she found stains on the laundry that was left out to sun. I don't know which pea-brained idiot threw bits of leftover spaghetti out the window; everything promptly splattered on our clothes and bamboo poles and left distinguishable orangey-yellow marks everywhere. Think of it as a Molotov cocktail of sorts, or bird poops, if you may. In fact, it was the second time it had happened. There was another, one metallic wok lid, measuring at least 45cm in diameter that was flung down a couple months back. I called for the police when I realised one of our bamboo poles went crashing down with it. The police arrived shortly after the incriminating evidence had been removed. Nothing much we can do, they told me, we'll just have to keep track.

I swear to god I will wring my neighbour's clothes (and neck) the next time i catch him/her in the act. That is, if I do. Some people are far too wily.

I decide to write my own tongue-in-cheek letter to whoever lives upstairs. If the town council cannot resolve a problem like this, i'll have to do it my own way. Here goes my letter that was penned in 5 minutes:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to tell you how happy I am to recieve your showers of blessing.

You know, God can only shower us with love and bless us with good health, but you always go one step further: You shower us with delicious chicken noodles, water, toilet paper, towels, Kotex, and the occasional G-string, I actually think you are far more well-stocked than the minimart downstairs. Yes sir/mam, I think you are one hell of a generous person, I can't say how much I adore you! I mean, look, who the heck are you. I want to meet you sometime.

Remember the last time you sent us a flying wok (cover)? Or was it a frying pan? I forgot to tell you we already have a wok at home. It's a little worn but still quite the trusty wok. That was a really nice gesture though, thanks. The next time I will return your kindness, yet again, by placing a call to 999. The people on the other line were immensely friendly, I tell you. But I guess no one can really match up to your kindness yet.

I suppose it might be wiser to bless us with money next time.

Yours sincerely,
Michelle.

I say, throw nothing out of the window; throw away your kampung mentality if you must. Please have some consideration for the ones living below you.

Labels: Favourites